Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
