god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
