he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
