I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
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