went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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