he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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