Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
