Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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