I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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