Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
