I need help removing her.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
