I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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