what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
