I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
