This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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