I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
