weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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