oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
