He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
