He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
