Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
