i permit you to call me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
