This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
