i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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