I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
