So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
