when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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