margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
