weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
