She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
