He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
