bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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