I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
