He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
