I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
