i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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