let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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