Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
