i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
