Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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