dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
