I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
