Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
