Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
