3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
