do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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