Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
