I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
