I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
