I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
