I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
