Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
